| If I didn't have you in my life I would have sliced my wrist open and let myself die last night. Even though I wasn't with you last night you are what kept me in my bed. I didn't want you to be mad at me if I did something stupid again. All I want is to make you happy the way you make me happy.
Everything about you brings the biggest to smile to my face. You can send me a simple text saying, "Oiii" the way you always seem to do. I love when you tell me that you miss me, but you don't tell me that enough so sometimes I think that you don't even think about me at all. My best friend tells me that you are like "madly in love with me that its crazy" but sometimes by the things you say I don't believe it.
I can be having the worst possible day and when I go to your house and sit and watch you play Call of Duty while I play The Sims 3 cheers me right on up. It's like just being in your presence makes the happiest person alive. I love just sitting around being a freaking nerd with you.
You are the most amazing person I have ever met. I cannot imagine my life without you. I am so glad that you saw me at school and talked to me in line to buy food. I'm so glad that I gave you butterflies in your stomach even before you talked to me. I love that you told your friends that you were going to date me one day. I love that you were scared to talk to me at first. I love that you finally built up the nerve to talk to me. I love that you think I am the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. I love that you love my face even when I don't have make up on. I love that you love me even when I smell like puke from my hangover. I love that you love me for who I am. But most of all I just love you.
I wish you would see this, but I know you wont, and I know that I am to scared to tell you any of this.
But I love you.
I'm glad I have you.
I would be dead if you didn't exist.
So even if you roll your eyes at it,
I'm so glad you exist.
Always and forever,
Tiffany |
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| to start writing again.
Recently I have felt very inspired to continue my writing. I used to write songs and crap for my friends band. For some reason I just lost all inspiration, I think it had to do with not having the feeling of love in my life. Now that I have that back I fell like writing again. All thought their band broke up and I have no place to write for I think I will still write and just post all my crap on here. (: You guys can enjoy it.
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| I mean it this time when I say I have fallen.
This man is literally perfect.
He is gorgeous.
He treats me amazingly.
And he has my heart completely.
He always says the sweetest things <3
We are perfect for eachother <3
and I have never been happier!
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| But I knew my Boyfriend was talking to my best friend. There is nothing going on with them but I knew he always talks to her about me and gets advice and crap on what to do. Well I went to his work today and brought him In and Out on his lunch and while he was out buying us sodas I decided to snoop his phone and see what he says to people about me. So I look, and I see Ashlee's name in the Today folder. So I open it, The first text is "I have a huge secret and I need to tell someone" Now who can resist reading after that? Not me that's for sure!
Now before I finish let me tell you my boyfriend and I feel the same way about love and sex and all that jazz. We both are abstinent, we both despise love and don't ever want to be inlove again. Both of us were hurt in brutal ways. His ex gf who he was with for 4 years cheated on him with a girl and became a Lesbian. I was abused emotionally and at the end, physically. So we both are pretty sick of it.
I have taken extra precautions with Kent making sure not to let myself fall in love or even get remotely close to any feeling of love with him but when I was snooping I saw what he said so I had to keep reading.
So here's how the texts went:
Kent: I have a secret and I need to tell someone.
Ashlee: My lips are sealed if you want to tell me
Kent: Just make sure not to tell Tiffany
Ashlee: I wont (:
Kent: I think Tiffany might be the one I find love in again
Ashlee: Awwww (: That's Adorablee!
Now My heart stopped for a second after reading that.
I was like Woah woah woah!! I thought you didn't want love ever again!? We had an agreement!! Now I don't know what to do. I knew he had extreme feelings for me, but I didn't know the extent. Now I am scared shitless and I think now that I know he feels that way that I am for sure going to fuck everything up...
I dunno what to do.
Why does love have to be so damn hard!?
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| That everything is fabulous. Date went amazing. I was right about what it was, I didn't cry almost but not completely. He makes me extremely happy. We are going to Six Flags in 2 weeks with my family for my dads work picnic, I hope everyone likes him, My dad adores him. I also met his parents. Completely UNPLANNED! I was nervous but they were so sweet and welcoming I chilled out pretty fast. His dad texted him the next day tellin him how much they liked me. I was glad (:
and he is totally different than cory. I don't think he would ever hurt me intentionally.
and we have decided to hold out on having sex. We both have the same views hat it ruins relationships. Me and him have so much in common it's scary, but he does make me happy. (:
and he pierced his lip. it's so hottt <3 hehe
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